so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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