you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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