There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
