there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
