u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
