I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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