I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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