she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize