Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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