this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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