Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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