Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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