SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
