One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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