I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
