she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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