everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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