lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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