Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I cut my penus on the lid.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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