i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize