There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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