1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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