he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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