i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize