i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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