dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Bring me that man meat
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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