there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
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I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
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Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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