this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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