i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
