I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So apparently I’m into choking now
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