he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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