Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
