I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
