doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
