Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
