Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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