My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize