She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
