he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
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Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
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Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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