I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just google imaged poop.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
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dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
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Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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