Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
