why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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