i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
