Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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