Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
