Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize