there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
