dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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