these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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