Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.