we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
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Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
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Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.