Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
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NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.