break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.