they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
did i walk over a car last night?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The fabulous human disaster: it is him