i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
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Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
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Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
be right there i have to get my cape