just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
