shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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