I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize