OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
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