the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
