U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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